Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
