did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
