So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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