Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
