Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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