you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
