she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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