Sry I called you an 8
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
