I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
