Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
