I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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