pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
