The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
