her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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