If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
