where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
