yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
