you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
