this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
