Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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