elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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