Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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