Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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