the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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