Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
