bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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