i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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