wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
