they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
