the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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