I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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