i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
