Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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