In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
