What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
