would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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