he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
