she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize