I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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