grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize