Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
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