Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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