On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
