The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
