"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
