the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
