sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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