it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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