Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
