I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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