Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
