you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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