have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
