he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
