Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
