he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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