After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
