This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
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