I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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